Diabolical

We have a fireplace in our apartment, complete with ceramic logs and a switch on the wall that turns it on and off. It works like magic, possibly of the black variety, though I'm not entirely sure on that. What I *do* know is that flipping a switch to start a fire is nothing like the uphill-both-ways stuff I had to go through when my family wanted a fire in the fireplace at home growing up. Back in those days, we kept piles of wood stacked on the side of the house no one ventured unless they were getting firewood. Whoever was assigned with the getting of the wood had to truck on back there with our red wagon that had been left out in the rain a few too many times and was rusted and dented with years of use. Retrieving wood during the day was generally no big deal, though it was advised to wear gloves because logs are pokey and sure to be infested with spiders or other assorted creepy-crawlies.

Sometimes we were sent out at night, though. The lights in the backyard only lit up the grass and pool area. That left a whole chunk of yard on the way to the creepy side of the house with no lighting. So you'd go back there with the rusty, creaky wagon and load it full of wood by the light of the moon while trying not to envision spiders crawling up your arms or over your shoes into your pant legs. After the wagon was loaded, it was a race back to the porch because by that time you had had it with the dark and cold and you just wanted to get in front of that damn fire. Also, there was always the potential for mischief-making brothers to be hiding in the dark corners, waiting to jump out and scare the crap out of you just to see how loud you could scream and if they could make you dump the wagon full of wood over on your way back to the house. Pleasant memories, indeed.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the switch which lights the fire in our apartment. So no one has to go adventuring to get wood, and no one has to check and make sure the flue is open before the fire is started. It's simply switching on and off and that's it. Brilliant. However, that also makes it simple for small, mischievous hands to turn fires on and off (probably mostly on).

Chris and I decided early on that we didn't want the kids to know how simple it was and we planned to flip the switch whenever they're not looking or out of the room somehow. Here's where the diabolical comes in. Instead of hoping for a moment when the kids are distracted, we have them come over to us, stand in front of the fireplace, close their eyes, and wish with all their mights for the fire to come on or turn off. This means that they aren't aware of us flipping a switch, nor do they have any idea that a switch can be flipped for fire purposes. Many mornings on the way out of the house, we have them wish the fire off and many chilly nights have included a moment of wishing the fire on. Really, there's something so satisfying in outsmarting the 3-5 year old set.