Ghost friends

A few months ago, Declan decided he wanted to be called John. I learned this when he was being stubborn in soccer practice and his coach tried to guide him to the end of the line with the other kids. I was sitting in my chair on the sideline at the other end of the field, watching Declan's little cooperation switch turn on and off throughout practice. I saw his coach lean down and gently turn Dex in the direction he needed to go and then I watched Declan furiously turn back around, face his coach, and demand in a voice that carried over to me, "My name is JOHN!" I'm not sure exactly what happened after that because my eyes were covered by my hand in a classic Jean Luc Picard facepalm.

Since that day, I've heard requests from Declan to call him John on several occasions, most of them being when he's in a moment of mischief or stubbornness or being chastised for misbehavior. I consulted some friends of mine who said that he would grow out of it, and it was probably his way of deflecting either embarrassment from being in trouble or responsibility for his actions. When I asked Declan why he picked John as the name he wanted to be called, he responded that it was the coolest name he knows. Someone else surmised that Dex equates mischief with being cool and when I thought about that, I realized it was something I'd always known but never really put into words - a total lightbulb moment for me in parenting that kid.

As time has moved on, the requests to be called John have diminished and John himself has morphed into a ghost friend (I think I've mentioned before that the boys refer to their imaginary friends as ghost friends) that regularly visits our household. John most frequently shows up when Logan's in school. We've had quite a few moments of similar exchanges such as: "Mommy, say hi to John." "Hi, John!" "No! [exasperated] He's not here yet. I meant say hi when he gets inside!" Good times, good times.

This weekend, Declan channeled the spirit of "Arrested Development" when he wanted me to write John's name down on something. "I'll spell it for you. G-O-N."