Also, how cool is this kid?

Declan and the Really Big Bowl

Maybe we need more Q-tips?

The other night when Chris and I were falling asleep, I said "Husband." Simple, right? He heard, "Hot snuggle."

Our family was watching Shrek 2 together last night and when Shrek said something about buttocks, Logan heard "butt hogs". I don't know why, but even now it's making me laugh and laugh and laugh.

These moments are related to, but not in the category of When They Don't Know the Words. Oh, you want some examples? Enjoy:

Spikes? Pokes.

Big hammer/mace/mallet? Bammer.

Hot dog buns? Closing bread.

Diarrhea? Pee-poop.

Fart? Bum burp. Bum snap. Bum yawn. Bum sneeze.

Unfortunately, they're getting older and better at speaking and understanding language, so these WTDKTW moments are fewer. But man, oh man, there are few things in the world that make me smile the way I do when I remember Logan asking for a hot dog on some closing bread.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

It's that time of year. If you remember our adventures from last year, Declan wasn't all that fond of the idea of leprechauns coming in during the night to play tricks on us. Quite a few times he went around the house making sure the doors were locked and we were safe. It traumatized him.

A few days ago, I mentioned the upcoming event and Declan would furrow his brow every time we talked about it. He was certain he did not want the leprechauns in the house, thank you very much. I would have dropped it if Logan was also concerned - or at least apathetic. But, in true Tag Team Mischief style, they had opposite opinions on the matter, and Logan was excited for things to happen. I wasn't sure how to choose which child to disappoint/traumatize.

Last night at dinner, we were having a talk about the leprechaun possibility and Declan again frowned and started to shake his head. He was not having it. So I asked how he would feel if we built a leprechaun trap to catch them and maybe they'd take us to their pot of gold? Well, *that* changed everything. The over-dinner discussion included all sorts of elaborate trap ideas from the boys, including using hidden cameras and infrared lights.

I went with a mildly lower-tech design: a shoebox propped up with toothpicks and a sign saying "Leprechauns, look in here! (Note: This is NOT a leprechaun trap!)" and a big arrow pointing to the opening. Logan let me know this morning he thought the special note saying it wasn't a leprechaun trap was an absolutely brilliant idea; that was probably what got them inside.

The leprechauns left a little note saying that even though we trapped them, they used their magic to escape. But they left a gold coin for each boy as a reward for their efforts and wished us well in trying again next year. (It's a good thing the kids don't recognize my handwriting.) They also went easy on us with the trickery (probably because of the time spent escaping our fancy trap) and only turned the milk and eggs green. Phew! Personally, I avoided the Irish eggs and treated myself to some Lucky Charms with green milk - St. Patrick's Day Heaven in a Bowl.

We're having homemade pizza tonight with green crust in celebration. It's all for the kids, right?

Boys will be boys

Declan's current favorite insult/exclamation/swear word: "Butt crack!"

Also, yesterday Logan tried to convince me his fart smelled like fresh apples.

Total Recall

Along the lines of Ed trying to remember the name of a Chinese restaurant in Rhode Island ("It was called Dragon Something...or Something Dragon"), Declan asked for "those crackers with Club in their name" today.

Mystery solved?

I think I've figured out the reasoning for the macabre subject matter of some of Declan's songs. When he tells me about them, or sings them to me, he'll ask if I think they're scary. Sometimes I'll ask him if he wants me to think they are. In response his eyes open wide and he nods his head yes while talking about why xyz is scary to talk about. When watching movies with creepy, suspensful parts (the black wolf, Gmork, in The Neverending Story, anyone?), Declan's the kind of kid who shuts his eyes tight or pulls a blanket over his face initially and then can be seen a moment later peeking to watch the action. Logan, on the other hand, shuts and stays shut until it's all over and done with.

I guess the point is that Declan enjoys the thrill of being scared and wants to turn that around on us a bit. What better way to do that than with songs about blood and death?