A boy and his dinner

Last night we had corndogs and tater tots for dinner. Yes, the foods of the gods.

Declan, as hard as he tried, could not keep from calling them teeter totters. And boy, did he love those teeters. He also reminded me of the fact that I'm surrounded by boys when he absentmindedly (while listening to Logan talk about something) held his corndog horizontally and quietly made the sounds of cocking and shooting a gun. I mean, he was fairly enthralled in whatever Logan was telling him, but he still managed to hold the little part of his subconscious open that makes corndogs weapons.

The Mommy Dot

When we moved to Utah, my friend Char had two kids that were about 4 and 1 at the time. She's since doubled her brood and is contemplating insanity by adding #5, but that's neither here nor there.

Char taught me a little trick way back when that I thought was a stroke of parenting genius (geniouse) and has been filed away in my mind for the stage of parenting I'm in now. That is, dealing with young folks who break lamps and then lie about it to avoid trouble. When Char's kid would lie about something and Char knew (or had a significant hunch) that she was being sold a houseboat in the Sahara, she said she could see the Mommy Dot. The Mommy Dot itself shows up on an unsuspecting, lying child's forehead. It's angry red in color, revealing the indignation and frustration of a parent being lied to. (OK, I may have self-projected there.) It's supposed to be seen only by parents but Logan has sworn up and down that he can see it on Dex. Technically that would mean a dot should be appearing on Logan's forehead as well, but I'm pretty sure the deal is that he and Dex get into trouble together and Logan knows the whole story so I let it slide.

Anyway, by telling a particular child that the Mommy Dot is showing and it's showing because Mommy knows the kid is lying, an amazing thing comes out: the truth. The kid, believing he is caught in a lie all of a sudden wants to come clean and reveal all. Seriously, this is parenting *magic*.

My kids believe in the Mommy Dot as desperately as they believe in Santa. The best part is they give themselves away, sometimes when I'm not even suspecting a lie. I've had conversations with them about mysterious events around the house that have a question and answer session ending in, "Can you see my dot?" Declan has been known to clap his hand to his forehead while talking to me about whether or not he drank milk in the living room. Once when I asked him if it was true that he hit Logan, he said no and immediately sighed heavily, slouched his shoulders and said, "You can see my dot, can't you?"

It's a miracle, folks.

Our latest foray in to the world of dots came the other night when Ed realized the boys had done something to his TV though he'd asked him repeatedly not to touch it. The two of them adamantly promised that they did nothing to it! No way would they touch the TV after Daddy had told them not to! How could we even think such a thing?!

After Ed left the room, each boy asked me quietly if I could see dots on either of them. Clearly, they were both involved. Together. Helping each other. Tag team mischief in action. And the story came out.

Now - if Char could get to work and please invent some parenting magic that will make kids think twice before getting into trouble, that would be awesome.

A pretty good sum-up of parenting these boys

I was searching through my email for something, and I came across a conversation between Ed and I that occured a few months back. Here it is, in its entirety:

Ed: Did Declan cut himself shaving?
Me: Yes, on Saturday.

(No explanation asked. None needed.)